Sharon; I know the fundraiser will be a big success because of all the loving friends, family and even strangers that will not let Jacquie be forgotten and hopefully through the support of the foundation another family will not have to suffer this horrible pain. Your family & Jacquie are always in my thoughts.
Hi!! I was dusting my room today and I came across a project I did my Junior year of high school…one of the stories I wrote was about Jax and friendships…I wrote about the birthday party Jacquie threw for me when I turned 16! Today was one of the first days that I was able to think and read something about Jax without crying. It’s not because I don’t miss her more and more everyday, but because I was happy, happy that I get to always have the memory of my 16th Bday spent with Jax!! I know Valentine’s Day was hard for you…but I’m so glad you got to go the Rascal Flatts concert!! I know they played Stand just for Jax and even though it was probably torture to listen to it I’m glad you got to hear it live and as a family. I love you and am excited to see you Friday at the Fundraiser!! xoxoxo Ashley
Sharon, Torey, and TJ, Last night at the show, I wanted so badly to be with you when they sang “Stand”. I cried so very hard and I was trying with all my might to send my strength to you three. It has only been a handful of times that I have heard that song since September, I even find myself muting the computer when I am on Jacquie’s site because it is too painful for me to hear it. But last night, I could not get away from hearing it, and although it brings peace in some ways, it still makes my heart hurt. I think that it always will. On a little bit of a brighter note, dad and I got the great idea to eek the Blue Cross Arena…I snuck the eek peel in and successfully eeked it…of course it conveniently landed in the trash can so I would not get in trouble:) I love you all, and I think about you each and every day. God bless, Casey
Sharon, I just want you to know that I think of you everyday. The hole in your heart will never go away, but time does help relieve some of the gut wrenching pain. Hang in there. If you ever want to talk just call. I’d give anything to turn time back to those “good old days” on Kenview. Gloria
Getting all Jaxed up for the concert tonight. Sending love and prayers. Watch out for eeks in the middle of the roads these days…they’re everywhere:) God bless, Casey
Today is a day to show love, feel love and give love…in the midst of all your going through and all the families who lost loved ones on flight 3407 we pray to God…Tears are flowing for many on this day OF LOVE…Lord..may we be reminded of your truth…and stand firm in the knowledge that “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” philippians 4:13.. Through Christ’s AMAZING GRACE all will have the supernatural strength to take each day one minute at a time…not looking too far ahead but knowing that God will meet ALL your needs and minister to them…so let “us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find your grace to help us in our time of need.” hebrews 4:16…I pray this in Jesus Christ AMEN…for all my fellow friends who are grieving this day… Sharon…you amazing me…today is a new day for you…getting up, making plans to help all those fighting to live…believing in yourself that you can and will make a difference in their lives…helping to find a miracle for those suffering from A.L.L your mission will be accomplished…my best to you today..your post on the 11th actually brightened my day….may your love for jacquie today…empower you to soar…you and jacquie have been a gift to many…carry on my friend…and my love to you today…on Valentine’s day !!!!
SENDING ALL THE HIRSCH’S LOVE ON THIS DAY OF LOVE< VALENTINE’S DAY!!!! HUG and ENJOY EACH OTHER TODAY! xoxoxo, The Christie’s ..and thanking God, that you were not a plane from NYC to Buffalo this year (vs a year ago)...but also sending prayers to all the families of those who were on the plane this year
Everywhere I’m looking nowI’m surrounded by your embraceBaby I can see your haloYou know you’re my saving graceYou’re everything I need and moreIt’s written all over your faceBaby I can feel your haloPray it won’t fade awayheard this song on the radio today, and it made me think of our beloved jax, looking down on all of us.i love you guys, try your hardest to keep your chins up high<3
I wish that i could take some of your pain. Don’t doubt yourself and what you taught to your daughter. You are an inspiration to so many and never cease to amaze me. I cannot wait to hear about the fundraiser you will pull off at the hockey game. All my love. A BELIEVER
I love you Sharon…and want you to know you are stronger than you think. Try and remember that death (while horrible and unfair) isn’t the end of any story or life by any means. Jacquie will always always always live on. In our hearts, and our children’s hearts and our children’s children’s heart. Jacquie’s life will never end. xoxo Ashley
Just sending what strength and love I can give. Everybody has such beautiful words… I wish they could help.Everytime I am asked about my bracelet, I proudly share Jax story and how amazing your family is. And as Alicia said, you are changing things now. Jacquie’s foundation is doing amazing things, and will continue to carry on Jax’s fight.BELIEVING in your strength ALLWAYS
sometimes i just sit and picture you smiling and i let it wash over and through me….it just hurts way too much. i feel like such a coward when i try not to hurt. as michael says: peace to the hirsches and to all who love you dear girl.
Sharon,I am so sorry that you are going through this… not just losing Jacquie, but everything that has come with losing her. I agree with Sammie wholeheartedly, you DID change the way it ended. No you couldn’t have changed the fact that Jacquie is no longer with us, unfortunately it is not in anyone’s power to stop that. But you changed everything leading up to that and you changed what happened afterward. You never let Jacquie feel defeated, you never let her stop believing. Because of your support and belief, Jacquie stayed with us months and months longer than most would. You helped change the circumstances surrounding Jac’s disease… instead of allowing her (and you) to hole yourselves up, wallowing in pity, you gave Jacquie strength, and you stopped her from becoming another angry and self-pitying cancer patient. No you couldn’t have changed what happened on September 6th, but think of how you changed those 11.5 months before then. I wish so badly I could stop your pain, I know we all do. Sometimes I wish for you that it will be a few years in the future, so you will be done with the “firsts” and “one year anniversaries.” Just know that Jacquie does know how much you love her and how much you miss her. The bond and love that you two share transcends this life. She knew how much you loved her and much you needed her, and just because she is gone, that doesn’t mean that your love for her is gone as well… and she knows that. Wherever she is, she can feel your love. Stay strong, do whatever you need to make it through. Every time it hurts so bad that you can’t breathe, know that I (and hundreds others) am squeezing your hand. I love you.<3 alicia <3
sharon,my heart hurts so much for you. but, you HAVE changed the way it ended, i wish you could see. Yes, though you didn’t change the fact that Jacquie passed, it was YOU and YOUR FAMILY who made it possible for Jacquie’s story to touch so many lives. Jacquie’s passing could have been yet another statistic, but YOU were able to change that, YOU were able to believe and pray and fight and hope and wish hard enough that Jacquie’s memory will be able to live on in SO MANY people’s lives.I have no idea what you are going through, I feel only a fraction of the pain you are going through, but I do know one thing. you ARE a mother that changed the way it ended, and I hope you realize this and keep believing every day that it is people like you who we need in this world to KEEP fighting, KEEP believing, KEEP praying, KEEP hoping, even when things seem hopeless.If nothing else, i will keep fighting and believing in you and your family.Jac,today stephy and i walked passed the blood drive going on in the union and i remembered the last time i gave blood was the day before you passed, right there in the hospital a few floors below you. even though my donation couldn’t save you, i’m going to keep fighting and donating and believing and celebrating your life like you’d want us to.my heart is aching today, so bad. i don’t want to pick new members of SDT with out your big mouth telling me who to vote for at black ball.”these nights in bars don’t mean a thing with empty hearts…”i love you so much.-lil samanthamum
SNOW SNOW SNOW there are school closings in arizona roads are closed and there are scools closed i am amazed sharon stay tough and strong i know it seems impossible but you are who you are and you will make it…jacquie wont let you down…nor will torey or tj or anyone else out here that knows you… i think ill go drive to the snow tonight just for some fun…a snow angel or two in arizona
aunt sharon please dont feel as if you could have done anything different! you couldnt have known this is how things would have turned out! you did everything perfect, jacquie couldnt have asked for a better bff and mother! i love you always! angela
Good Morning, I’m glad the Sun is starting to come out alittle earlier now and stay out longer…I can’t stand the dark anymore, and I bet you guys can’t stand the dark days either. I hope the extra sunshine makes your days a little easier. Just think of the sun as Jacquie’s way to warm your heart!! Love you guys. xoAlways a believerox Ashley
Yes, it was one year ago that you were all here in NYC . Sharon, you were incredible with Jacquie…when I went to visit, there was a mutual comfort, friendship between you and Jax, yet a firm hand, when it was time to take her meds. Jax laughed, talked and we went down memory lane! Torey and TJ, were great support systems, managing the home front and planting some surprises for their girls! On friday, Ryan came home and told me he bought a star for Jacquie at his high school. Put her name on the star and hung it up. When he told me and I could only feel again, how wonderful Jax is, she touches people, touched Ryan and will forever be a place in his heart for her! Love always, from all of us, Indie, Pat, Anjalie and Ryan
I had one of those dreams the other night, the ones we all have every once in a while where Jacquie is in them, beautiful and happy and the comfort of her spirt feels so real. I woke up that morning and cried because I was so happy to have felt like I just hung out with Jacquie only moments before I woke up. In my dream we were all sitting around a table, you were there Sharon and all of the Ciao Bellas as well. Jacquie was in her best mood, the one where she glows and makes everyone else in the room so happy and laugh out loud at everything. I seriously believe we connected somehow that night and it was a big sense of relief for me to feel her actual self by me and that vibe that she always gave off. It ment so much to me, she has such an amazing spirit that will last forever. Love Always, Caitlin
Jacquie, Tough moments…this whole scenario is so difficult to grasp and accept. How can it really be? You do continue to fill the world with smiles and inspiration but it sure does not make the loss right. I would like to see Michael attempt the exercise ball and the “jazz square”. Sharon, Torey and TJ, Continue to do what you are doing, one moment and one breath at a time and know that we will always be caring about you. Sara and family
Hey there hirches and the rest… that sounds like gilligans island before they gave the prof and mary anne credits in the song…(where does this guy come up with the things he writes?) any way…az is getting by after losing to pitts in the superbowl…would have been nice but it still wouldnt have been the bills…that is the one i’m waiting for… hoping all of this family is doing well…i see it is -6 right now…brrrr mom(aunt val) stopped in overnight and said how hot it was here in phx…it was 75…thats it…should see what it is like at 113 and you cant walk across the street… just my normal banter i guess… we had meatloaf for dinner last week and i can say, i will never be able to eat meatloaf without thinking of jacquie…and it will never taste the same… picturing my sister doing jazzercise makes me laugh… wishing the best,knowing the worst, but letting you know im around…and so is jax… peace to all…. mps
Sharon you’re such an amazing Mom… I don’t know if this is in your book but “Daughter’s need Mom’s to fight for them” that’s what I think anyways and you have fought for Jax… and you will continue fighting for her forever. It isn’t fair that she’s not here with you physically, that you can’t hug her. That none of us can. It isn’t fair and I wish there was a big enough word to capture how awful it is but there isn’t… because this isn’t supposed to happen… a parent is not supposed to outlive their child and it doesn’t make sense and it goes against everything that is right. There is no manual on how to deal with it no time frame on when the pain should ease or if it ever does. The fact that you continue to get up each day is a tribute to how amazing you are… all three of you. The fact that you all continue to fight Jacquie’s fight and fight it hard shows that you are beyond amazing. I know that words won’t help… not much will right now but I just continue to hold you in my heart every single second and pray for you to find some joy each day. I love you guys and think of you constantly. Sometimes I laugh so hard when I think of memories with Jax and sometimes of course I cry… I miss her. I hope I get to see you soon and give you a great big hug. Love you<3 Sadie
Everyday I feel sadness knowing that it has been another day of Jacquie’s passing. I think about her constantly as I walk through Geneseo’s campus or as I sit in the sorority living room and browse the composites on the walls. She consumes my thoughts and I miss her every second of every minute of everyday.Sharon, Torey and TJ I want to apologize for being such a stranger. It is not because I have forgotten, but rather it is because I simply do not have words. But I hope you feel the hug I extend to you every morning and the hug I extend to you every night. You are always in my thoughts and I hope to see you all very soon. Always believing.Justine Marie <3
Sharon- No one understands a girl like her Mom. You understood exactly what Jax needed, and you gave it to her every day. It’s the part of you that made your life so full, but so empty now. You must be sick of hearing people tell you to give yourself time, because you’re right… time will never take away your pain. It will, at some point, help you learn ways to live with it, though.Take care of yourself. Be a little selfish for a while. A long while if you need it. There is no time frame for you to adhere to.You are always in our hearts and prayers. <3
Hirsch’s, I am counting down the days until the concert:) And I am also looking forward to the purple and white tulips that I planted for Jax to be in bloom after all of this snow goes away in a month or two! Always Believing. God bless, Casey Alicia, Thanks for sharing your dream! It totally sounds exactly like Jax…I cannot remember a drive home from school 42 when we didn’t talk about what we were going to eat for dinner that night. Jax would yell at me for going running, and she would tell me how she was going to have a delicious burger and I should just have one too instead of going runnng:)
today as i sat here and read your words i just dont know how you find the strength to write! jacquie has to be with you still because she could never truly leave us!!! i just dont believe that is possible that she could go on with out us! i know how hard it is to go on without her! jacquie i cant help but think of you constantly! i hope you know what a special person you really were and i am just so blessed to have been a part of your life! please never forget me! i will love you always, cousin angela
Good Morning, This past weekend a few of us girls were lucky enough to hang out and spend the entire night together…even have a sleepover. And the whole time I know we all had Jacquie on our minds. Since September I think we all have Jacquie to thank for our growing friendships. We have always been greatful for each other but we are now even more greatful. And we now realize the importance of having wonderful girlfriends. Every day I wish that Jacquie was still here to spend our girls nights with us, but I am thankful that she showed me what it means to be a good friend and have good friends. I miss her terribly but am thankful that she is still in our hearts keeping us so very close together. Love you…ciao bellas and of course Jacquie. xoxoxo Ashley
Sharon, I visit the website two to three times a day and every time I see jacquie’s picture I too ask why and there never will be a good answer. Thinking of you always.
Jacquie, I know that a lot of these posts lately have been pretty heavy, but what can I say, that is how life feels without you. But I want you to know that this is going to be a lighthearted post. Thank you sooo much for visiting me in my dreams last night! It was the first time in a while that you had, and boy was it a good one. I woke up this morning feeling like we had actually just hung out, and it was seriously just like old times… I can’t tell you how happy it made me. Anyway, even though you probably know what happened, I’ll tell you anyway so everyone else can know. We were in Mexico at some Mayan temple ruins, why we were there, I don’t know. But it was really sunny, and hot, but the temple looked amazing. And you of course looked beautiful, you were wearing a white thick strapped tank and you had your hair in a pony tail/bun thing. Anyway we were hanging out and you were cracking jokes as always, and I just remember thinking it was the happiest and lightest I had felt in ages. So we were hanging out and climbing the temple when suddenly it was lunch. Apparently we were going to have cheeseburgers. So I said I didn’t want a regular cheeseburger because you know, I don’t like redmeat that much… so I wanted a turkey burger. And I made my turkey burger and was about to eat it and suddenly it disappeared. And you were telling me to forget that turkey burger, because in your words, “seriously, who eats turkey burgers?” So anyway we proceeded to make and eat one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever had. You invented all of these crazy toppings to put on, like some semi spicy-sweet mustard, and ginger (like what you get at a sushi place). (Okay I know that ordinarily these aren’t typically what suits your palate, but it was a dream). Anyway the last thing I remember is sitting down outside under hot sun, we were both sitting cross-legged, and we were laughing and eating our amazing cheeseburgers. I woke up not only craving cheeseburgers (which I never crave because I ordinarily hate them), but I also felt like you and I had the most fun afternoon/adventure pretty much ever.I know that is a lot of description for a little dream, but it felt so real, that I just wanted to explain as much in detail as I could so everyone can imagine it.Thank you so much for visiting me, I needed it, and today I am in a better mood than I have been in a long time. And I want you to know that I am still believing, now more than ever!!! It is greaat to know that you haven’t changed a bit ;)I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!xoxoxo <3 delisha <3 xoxo
Thinking about you and praying that you receive God’s peace…Give your pain to Our Lord…and rest…knowing that He will carry you….through this storm… Your in my daily prayers…
Sharon – I cried after your last post and my tears on the tissue formed the shape of a perfect baby’s footprint. In my mind, this was Jacquie’s message – telling me to let her Mom know that it will take “baby steps” to continue on without her. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other – “baby steps” – they will carry you through this nightmare and help you to heal. Your pain is still so raw – use those “baby steps” to help you accomplish a little more each day. Hopefully someday your memories of your beautiful daughter will bring a smile to your face instead of pain to your heart. Sincerely, Wendy
Hirsch family, My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, as you battle this new year without Jacquie. I read somewhere that the Beatles song “Let it Be” was written by Paul for his mother. She had passed away from cancer, and, like so many of us, he was finding it all so hard to accept. He said he wrote the song after his mother came to him in a dream one night and said the words “let it be” to him, trying to ease his pain. This reminded me of your family not only because its such a beautiful song, but because so many people write on here about how Jacquie comes to them in dreams. I hope Jacquie visits your dreams and offers comfort when it feels like it’s all just too much.
Sharon-I read all your posts and my heart ached even more than usual after reading Tuesday’s. My parents lost a son to a terrible accident before I was born. His name was Eddie and he was a twin. My mom told me that the pain of the loss becomes part of you like an arm or a leg. She believes with all her heart that God wanted her son. Being the faithful catholic that she is, still she has wondered if our time on earth is really hell or perhaps purgatory. I don’t know about that since I don’t share her catholic vision of the after life. What I do know is that her son, my brother, has been dead for 54 years and she still thinks about him everyday. She loves that we talk about and pray for him, that we have told our children about the uncle they never got to know. We look at his toddler pictures and imagine how like his twin he would be,… a wonderful man. The hurt of his passing has never gone away for my parents,it just eased. They both taught themselves another way to live and eventually happiness entered their lives again. I say be kinder to yourself. My mother felt like it took her over 1000 days to welcome happiness back into her life. To me, 146 days is too soon for you to learn how to be happy and accept a life where you don’t get to see or talk to Jacquie everyday. I BELIEVE that you will have happiness again and you will whisper about it to your daughter when it quietly enters your life.
Good Morning, Just wanted to tell you that I’m thinking of you and loving you always. I hope this weekend is a good one. xoxo Miss you Jax. Always Believing, Ashley
Sharon.torey and T.J. , Ihave been thinking about you guys alot. my life has been crazy as usual. I have been tryins to find all our old swimmers for a Amherst swim team reunion. on facsbook. okay the one who doesnt know anything about these crazy computers has done it. check out my profile it will come up and there it is the team. sharon take the time to heal . but not too long i need you. we all do. keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. oh my puppy is st. bernard /golden shes huge. well everyone have a great day it 5;30 am and i got to start my day.
this past saturday was my first time in the gym school since you passed away jacquie! walking in there was so tough, quite almost. what a beautiful tribute on the wall they have put in there for you! i cant explain to you how much i miss you i hope you feel it! do you hear me talking to you still? not an hour of the day passes when you arent a thought in my mind or im saying something to you in thought! aunt sharon, i love you so very much and i truly would do anything to help ease your pain! i love you all so much and i will never stop loving you jacquie! forever in my heart, cousin angela
Join Our Free Newsletter
Get an inside look at the Jacquie Hirsch For A.L.L. Foundation each month.
Sue P says:
February 16, 2009 at 1:28 pm -
Sharon; I know the fundraiser will be a big success because of all the loving friends, family and even strangers that will not let Jacquie be forgotten and hopefully through the support of the foundation another family will not have to suffer this horrible pain. Your family & Jacquie are always in my thoughts.
Huer says:
February 15, 2009 at 3:52 pm -
Hi!! I was dusting my room today and I came across a project I did my Junior year of high school…one of the stories I wrote was about Jax and friendships…I wrote about the birthday party Jacquie threw for me when I turned 16! Today was one of the first days that I was able to think and read something about Jax without crying. It’s not because I don’t miss her more and more everyday, but because I was happy, happy that I get to always have the memory of my 16th Bday spent with Jax!! I know Valentine’s Day was hard for you…but I’m so glad you got to go the Rascal Flatts concert!! I know they played Stand just for Jax and even though it was probably torture to listen to it I’m glad you got to hear it live and as a family. I love you and am excited to see you Friday at the Fundraiser!! xoxoxo Ashley
Casey Stiokas says:
February 15, 2009 at 3:37 pm -
Sharon, Torey, and TJ, Last night at the show, I wanted so badly to be with you when they sang “Stand”. I cried so very hard and I was trying with all my might to send my strength to you three. It has only been a handful of times that I have heard that song since September, I even find myself muting the computer when I am on Jacquie’s site because it is too painful for me to hear it. But last night, I could not get away from hearing it, and although it brings peace in some ways, it still makes my heart hurt. I think that it always will. On a little bit of a brighter note, dad and I got the great idea to eek the Blue Cross Arena…I snuck the eek peel in and successfully eeked it…of course it conveniently landed in the trash can so I would not get in trouble:) I love you all, and I think about you each and every day. God bless, Casey
Anonymous says:
February 15, 2009 at 11:51 am -
Sharon, I just want you to know that I think of you everyday. The hole in your heart will never go away, but time does help relieve some of the gut wrenching pain. Hang in there. If you ever want to talk just call. I’d give anything to turn time back to those “good old days” on Kenview. Gloria
Casey Stiokas says:
February 14, 2009 at 2:57 pm -
Getting all Jaxed up for the concert tonight. Sending love and prayers. Watch out for eeks in the middle of the roads these days…they’re everywhere:) God bless, Casey
Karen Kacko Calandra says:
February 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm -
Today is a day to show love, feel love and give love…in the midst of all your going through and all the families who lost loved ones on flight 3407 we pray to God…Tears are flowing for many on this day OF LOVE…Lord..may we be reminded of your truth…and stand firm in the knowledge that “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” philippians 4:13.. Through Christ’s AMAZING GRACE all will have the supernatural strength to take each day one minute at a time…not looking too far ahead but knowing that God will meet ALL your needs and minister to them…so let “us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find your grace to help us in our time of need.” hebrews 4:16…I pray this in Jesus Christ AMEN…for all my fellow friends who are grieving this day… Sharon…you amazing me…today is a new day for you…getting up, making plans to help all those fighting to live…believing in yourself that you can and will make a difference in their lives…helping to find a miracle for those suffering from A.L.L your mission will be accomplished…my best to you today..your post on the 11th actually brightened my day….may your love for jacquie today…empower you to soar…you and jacquie have been a gift to many…carry on my friend…and my love to you today…on Valentine’s day !!!!
All of Us says:
February 13, 2009 at 9:02 pm -
SENDING ALL THE HIRSCH’S LOVE ON THIS DAY OF LOVE< VALENTINE’S DAY!!!! HUG and ENJOY EACH OTHER TODAY! xoxoxo, The Christie’s ..and thanking God, that you were not a plane from NYC to Buffalo this year (vs a year ago)...but also sending prayers to all the families of those who were on the plane this year
meg dressel says:
February 13, 2009 at 6:04 pm -
Everywhere I’m looking nowI’m surrounded by your embraceBaby I can see your haloYou know you’re my saving graceYou’re everything I need and moreIt’s written all over your faceBaby I can feel your haloPray it won’t fade awayheard this song on the radio today, and it made me think of our beloved jax, looking down on all of us.i love you guys, try your hardest to keep your chins up high<3
sue says:
February 12, 2009 at 5:27 pm -
I wish that i could take some of your pain. Don’t doubt yourself and what you taught to your daughter. You are an inspiration to so many and never cease to amaze me. I cannot wait to hear about the fundraiser you will pull off at the hockey game. All my love. A BELIEVER
Huer says:
February 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm -
I love you Sharon…and want you to know you are stronger than you think. Try and remember that death (while horrible and unfair) isn’t the end of any story or life by any means. Jacquie will always always always live on. In our hearts, and our children’s hearts and our children’s children’s heart. Jacquie’s life will never end. xoxo Ashley
Pinchoff says:
February 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm -
Just sending what strength and love I can give. Everybody has such beautiful words… I wish they could help.Everytime I am asked about my bracelet, I proudly share Jax story and how amazing your family is. And as Alicia said, you are changing things now. Jacquie’s foundation is doing amazing things, and will continue to carry on Jax’s fight.BELIEVING in your strength ALLWAYS
sara (albuquerque) says:
February 11, 2009 at 9:36 am -
Always remembering everything….never forgetting anything that you have and are going through,all of you…beautiful Jacquie too.
aunt val says:
February 10, 2009 at 5:44 pm -
sometimes i just sit and picture you smiling and i let it wash over and through me….it just hurts way too much. i feel like such a coward when i try not to hurt. as michael says: peace to the hirsches and to all who love you dear girl.
Alicia says:
February 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm -
This song came on my playlist on Pandora, “Like the wind that I cannot see, but I know it’s there right in front of me… you’re everywhere.”<3 alicia
Alicia says:
February 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm -
Sharon,I am so sorry that you are going through this… not just losing Jacquie, but everything that has come with losing her. I agree with Sammie wholeheartedly, you DID change the way it ended. No you couldn’t have changed the fact that Jacquie is no longer with us, unfortunately it is not in anyone’s power to stop that. But you changed everything leading up to that and you changed what happened afterward. You never let Jacquie feel defeated, you never let her stop believing. Because of your support and belief, Jacquie stayed with us months and months longer than most would. You helped change the circumstances surrounding Jac’s disease… instead of allowing her (and you) to hole yourselves up, wallowing in pity, you gave Jacquie strength, and you stopped her from becoming another angry and self-pitying cancer patient. No you couldn’t have changed what happened on September 6th, but think of how you changed those 11.5 months before then. I wish so badly I could stop your pain, I know we all do. Sometimes I wish for you that it will be a few years in the future, so you will be done with the “firsts” and “one year anniversaries.” Just know that Jacquie does know how much you love her and how much you miss her. The bond and love that you two share transcends this life. She knew how much you loved her and much you needed her, and just because she is gone, that doesn’t mean that your love for her is gone as well… and she knows that. Wherever she is, she can feel your love. Stay strong, do whatever you need to make it through. Every time it hurts so bad that you can’t breathe, know that I (and hundreds others) am squeezing your hand. I love you.<3 alicia <3
lil sammie says:
February 10, 2009 at 11:10 am -
sharon,my heart hurts so much for you. but, you HAVE changed the way it ended, i wish you could see. Yes, though you didn’t change the fact that Jacquie passed, it was YOU and YOUR FAMILY who made it possible for Jacquie’s story to touch so many lives. Jacquie’s passing could have been yet another statistic, but YOU were able to change that, YOU were able to believe and pray and fight and hope and wish hard enough that Jacquie’s memory will be able to live on in SO MANY people’s lives.I have no idea what you are going through, I feel only a fraction of the pain you are going through, but I do know one thing. you ARE a mother that changed the way it ended, and I hope you realize this and keep believing every day that it is people like you who we need in this world to KEEP fighting, KEEP believing, KEEP praying, KEEP hoping, even when things seem hopeless.If nothing else, i will keep fighting and believing in you and your family.Jac,today stephy and i walked passed the blood drive going on in the union and i remembered the last time i gave blood was the day before you passed, right there in the hospital a few floors below you. even though my donation couldn’t save you, i’m going to keep fighting and donating and believing and celebrating your life like you’d want us to.my heart is aching today, so bad. i don’t want to pick new members of SDT with out your big mouth telling me who to vote for at black ball.”these nights in bars don’t mean a thing with empty hearts…”i love you so much.-lil samanthamum
Shannon Colligan says:
February 10, 2009 at 9:27 am -
i miss u! <3Shanon<3
Michael Stoughton says:
February 10, 2009 at 9:23 am -
SNOW SNOW SNOW there are school closings in arizona roads are closed and there are scools closed i am amazed sharon stay tough and strong i know it seems impossible but you are who you are and you will make it…jacquie wont let you down…nor will torey or tj or anyone else out here that knows you… i think ill go drive to the snow tonight just for some fun…a snow angel or two in arizona
Amanda Cavarella says:
February 9, 2009 at 6:21 pm -
Thinking of all of you and holding you in my heart. Always believing, Amanda <3
angela says:
February 9, 2009 at 1:12 pm -
aunt sharon please dont feel as if you could have done anything different! you couldnt have known this is how things would have turned out! you did everything perfect, jacquie couldnt have asked for a better bff and mother! i love you always! angela
Sara (albuquerque) says:
February 9, 2009 at 9:38 am -
With you, behind, next to and ahead…always and always believing in you and all you do. Sara
Huer says:
February 9, 2009 at 9:18 am -
Good Morning, I’m glad the Sun is starting to come out alittle earlier now and stay out longer…I can’t stand the dark anymore, and I bet you guys can’t stand the dark days either. I hope the extra sunshine makes your days a little easier. Just think of the sun as Jacquie’s way to warm your heart!! Love you guys. xoAlways a believerox Ashley
Brooks’ mom says:
February 8, 2009 at 8:15 pm -
Good Evening Hursch Family! I wanted to send you a hug tonight…I found myself thinking of you all…and wanted you to know… Love to you all!
sue says:
February 7, 2009 at 12:35 pm -
Holding your hand
Indie says:
February 6, 2009 at 9:43 pm -
Yes, it was one year ago that you were all here in NYC . Sharon, you were incredible with Jacquie…when I went to visit, there was a mutual comfort, friendship between you and Jax, yet a firm hand, when it was time to take her meds. Jax laughed, talked and we went down memory lane! Torey and TJ, were great support systems, managing the home front and planting some surprises for their girls! On friday, Ryan came home and told me he bought a star for Jacquie at his high school. Put her name on the star and hung it up. When he told me and I could only feel again, how wonderful Jax is, she touches people, touched Ryan and will forever be a place in his heart for her! Love always, from all of us, Indie, Pat, Anjalie and Ryan
Marietta says:
February 5, 2009 at 9:57 pm -
Jax,I just ate A LOT of fast food and I obv thought of you. Miss you A LOT too.Love youMarietta
Caitlin Burgher says:
February 5, 2009 at 3:40 pm -
I had one of those dreams the other night, the ones we all have every once in a while where Jacquie is in them, beautiful and happy and the comfort of her spirt feels so real. I woke up that morning and cried because I was so happy to have felt like I just hung out with Jacquie only moments before I woke up. In my dream we were all sitting around a table, you were there Sharon and all of the Ciao Bellas as well. Jacquie was in her best mood, the one where she glows and makes everyone else in the room so happy and laugh out loud at everything. I seriously believe we connected somehow that night and it was a big sense of relief for me to feel her actual self by me and that vibe that she always gave off. It ment so much to me, she has such an amazing spirit that will last forever. Love Always, Caitlin
Sara (albuquerque) says:
February 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm -
Jacquie, Tough moments…this whole scenario is so difficult to grasp and accept. How can it really be? You do continue to fill the world with smiles and inspiration but it sure does not make the loss right. I would like to see Michael attempt the exercise ball and the “jazz square”. Sharon, Torey and TJ, Continue to do what you are doing, one moment and one breath at a time and know that we will always be caring about you. Sara and family
Michael Stoughton says:
February 5, 2009 at 8:52 am -
Hey there hirches and the rest… that sounds like gilligans island before they gave the prof and mary anne credits in the song…(where does this guy come up with the things he writes?) any way…az is getting by after losing to pitts in the superbowl…would have been nice but it still wouldnt have been the bills…that is the one i’m waiting for… hoping all of this family is doing well…i see it is -6 right now…brrrr mom(aunt val) stopped in overnight and said how hot it was here in phx…it was 75…thats it…should see what it is like at 113 and you cant walk across the street… just my normal banter i guess… we had meatloaf for dinner last week and i can say, i will never be able to eat meatloaf without thinking of jacquie…and it will never taste the same… picturing my sister doing jazzercise makes me laugh… wishing the best,knowing the worst, but letting you know im around…and so is jax… peace to all…. mps
Bill says:
February 5, 2009 at 6:58 am -
Sadie says:
February 3, 2009 at 10:09 pm -
Sharon you’re such an amazing Mom… I don’t know if this is in your book but “Daughter’s need Mom’s to fight for them” that’s what I think anyways and you have fought for Jax… and you will continue fighting for her forever. It isn’t fair that she’s not here with you physically, that you can’t hug her. That none of us can. It isn’t fair and I wish there was a big enough word to capture how awful it is but there isn’t… because this isn’t supposed to happen… a parent is not supposed to outlive their child and it doesn’t make sense and it goes against everything that is right. There is no manual on how to deal with it no time frame on when the pain should ease or if it ever does. The fact that you continue to get up each day is a tribute to how amazing you are… all three of you. The fact that you all continue to fight Jacquie’s fight and fight it hard shows that you are beyond amazing. I know that words won’t help… not much will right now but I just continue to hold you in my heart every single second and pray for you to find some joy each day. I love you guys and think of you constantly. Sometimes I laugh so hard when I think of memories with Jax and sometimes of course I cry… I miss her. I hope I get to see you soon and give you a great big hug. Love you<3 Sadie
Justine says:
February 3, 2009 at 9:37 pm -
Everyday I feel sadness knowing that it has been another day of Jacquie’s passing. I think about her constantly as I walk through Geneseo’s campus or as I sit in the sorority living room and browse the composites on the walls. She consumes my thoughts and I miss her every second of every minute of everyday.Sharon, Torey and TJ I want to apologize for being such a stranger. It is not because I have forgotten, but rather it is because I simply do not have words. But I hope you feel the hug I extend to you every morning and the hug I extend to you every night. You are always in my thoughts and I hope to see you all very soon. Always believing.Justine Marie <3
cmd says:
February 3, 2009 at 8:12 am -
Sharon- No one understands a girl like her Mom. You understood exactly what Jax needed, and you gave it to her every day. It’s the part of you that made your life so full, but so empty now. You must be sick of hearing people tell you to give yourself time, because you’re right… time will never take away your pain. It will, at some point, help you learn ways to live with it, though.Take care of yourself. Be a little selfish for a while. A long while if you need it. There is no time frame for you to adhere to.You are always in our hearts and prayers. <3
Natalie M. says:
February 2, 2009 at 5:39 pm -
Jacquie, I’m always thinking of you. There’s not a day that goes by, without me thinking of you. You are so missed down here, I love you. -Natalie
Casey Stiokas says:
February 2, 2009 at 3:47 pm -
Hirsch’s, I am counting down the days until the concert:) And I am also looking forward to the purple and white tulips that I planted for Jax to be in bloom after all of this snow goes away in a month or two! Always Believing. God bless, Casey Alicia, Thanks for sharing your dream! It totally sounds exactly like Jax…I cannot remember a drive home from school 42 when we didn’t talk about what we were going to eat for dinner that night. Jax would yell at me for going running, and she would tell me how she was going to have a delicious burger and I should just have one too instead of going runnng:)
Angela says:
February 2, 2009 at 10:41 am -
today as i sat here and read your words i just dont know how you find the strength to write! jacquie has to be with you still because she could never truly leave us!!! i just dont believe that is possible that she could go on with out us! i know how hard it is to go on without her! jacquie i cant help but think of you constantly! i hope you know what a special person you really were and i am just so blessed to have been a part of your life! please never forget me! i will love you always, cousin angela
Huer says:
February 2, 2009 at 9:17 am -
Good Morning, This past weekend a few of us girls were lucky enough to hang out and spend the entire night together…even have a sleepover. And the whole time I know we all had Jacquie on our minds. Since September I think we all have Jacquie to thank for our growing friendships. We have always been greatful for each other but we are now even more greatful. And we now realize the importance of having wonderful girlfriends. Every day I wish that Jacquie was still here to spend our girls nights with us, but I am thankful that she showed me what it means to be a good friend and have good friends. I miss her terribly but am thankful that she is still in our hearts keeping us so very close together. Love you…ciao bellas and of course Jacquie. xoxoxo Ashley
Sue P says:
January 31, 2009 at 4:20 pm -
Sharon, I visit the website two to three times a day and every time I see jacquie’s picture I too ask why and there never will be a good answer. Thinking of you always.
alicia says:
January 31, 2009 at 3:05 pm -
Jacquie, I know that a lot of these posts lately have been pretty heavy, but what can I say, that is how life feels without you. But I want you to know that this is going to be a lighthearted post. Thank you sooo much for visiting me in my dreams last night! It was the first time in a while that you had, and boy was it a good one. I woke up this morning feeling like we had actually just hung out, and it was seriously just like old times… I can’t tell you how happy it made me. Anyway, even though you probably know what happened, I’ll tell you anyway so everyone else can know. We were in Mexico at some Mayan temple ruins, why we were there, I don’t know. But it was really sunny, and hot, but the temple looked amazing. And you of course looked beautiful, you were wearing a white thick strapped tank and you had your hair in a pony tail/bun thing. Anyway we were hanging out and you were cracking jokes as always, and I just remember thinking it was the happiest and lightest I had felt in ages. So we were hanging out and climbing the temple when suddenly it was lunch. Apparently we were going to have cheeseburgers. So I said I didn’t want a regular cheeseburger because you know, I don’t like redmeat that much… so I wanted a turkey burger. And I made my turkey burger and was about to eat it and suddenly it disappeared. And you were telling me to forget that turkey burger, because in your words, “seriously, who eats turkey burgers?” So anyway we proceeded to make and eat one of the best cheeseburgers I have ever had. You invented all of these crazy toppings to put on, like some semi spicy-sweet mustard, and ginger (like what you get at a sushi place). (Okay I know that ordinarily these aren’t typically what suits your palate, but it was a dream). Anyway the last thing I remember is sitting down outside under hot sun, we were both sitting cross-legged, and we were laughing and eating our amazing cheeseburgers. I woke up not only craving cheeseburgers (which I never crave because I ordinarily hate them), but I also felt like you and I had the most fun afternoon/adventure pretty much ever.I know that is a lot of description for a little dream, but it felt so real, that I just wanted to explain as much in detail as I could so everyone can imagine it.Thank you so much for visiting me, I needed it, and today I am in a better mood than I have been in a long time. And I want you to know that I am still believing, now more than ever!!! It is greaat to know that you haven’t changed a bit ;)I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!xoxoxo <3 delisha <3 xoxo
Karen Kacko calandra says:
January 31, 2009 at 12:14 pm -
Thinking about you and praying that you receive God’s peace…Give your pain to Our Lord…and rest…knowing that He will carry you….through this storm… Your in my daily prayers…
Wendy V says:
January 31, 2009 at 10:43 am -
Sharon – I cried after your last post and my tears on the tissue formed the shape of a perfect baby’s footprint. In my mind, this was Jacquie’s message – telling me to let her Mom know that it will take “baby steps” to continue on without her. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other – “baby steps” – they will carry you through this nightmare and help you to heal. Your pain is still so raw – use those “baby steps” to help you accomplish a little more each day. Hopefully someday your memories of your beautiful daughter will bring a smile to your face instead of pain to your heart. Sincerely, Wendy
Anonymous says:
January 30, 2009 at 8:09 pm -
Hirsch family, My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, as you battle this new year without Jacquie. I read somewhere that the Beatles song “Let it Be” was written by Paul for his mother. She had passed away from cancer, and, like so many of us, he was finding it all so hard to accept. He said he wrote the song after his mother came to him in a dream one night and said the words “let it be” to him, trying to ease his pain. This reminded me of your family not only because its such a beautiful song, but because so many people write on here about how Jacquie comes to them in dreams. I hope Jacquie visits your dreams and offers comfort when it feels like it’s all just too much.
Pinchoff says:
January 30, 2009 at 12:22 pm -
Just sending my love and thoughts… I know there are no words to say. Just wanted you all to know I am thinking of you and BELIEVING.- Pinchoff
Judy Redding says:
January 30, 2009 at 11:12 am -
Sharon-I read all your posts and my heart ached even more than usual after reading Tuesday’s. My parents lost a son to a terrible accident before I was born. His name was Eddie and he was a twin. My mom told me that the pain of the loss becomes part of you like an arm or a leg. She believes with all her heart that God wanted her son. Being the faithful catholic that she is, still she has wondered if our time on earth is really hell or perhaps purgatory. I don’t know about that since I don’t share her catholic vision of the after life. What I do know is that her son, my brother, has been dead for 54 years and she still thinks about him everyday. She loves that we talk about and pray for him, that we have told our children about the uncle they never got to know. We look at his toddler pictures and imagine how like his twin he would be,… a wonderful man. The hurt of his passing has never gone away for my parents,it just eased. They both taught themselves another way to live and eventually happiness entered their lives again. I say be kinder to yourself. My mother felt like it took her over 1000 days to welcome happiness back into her life. To me, 146 days is too soon for you to learn how to be happy and accept a life where you don’t get to see or talk to Jacquie everyday. I BELIEVE that you will have happiness again and you will whisper about it to your daughter when it quietly enters your life.
Huer says:
January 30, 2009 at 8:56 am -
Good Morning, Just wanted to tell you that I’m thinking of you and loving you always. I hope this weekend is a good one. xoxo Miss you Jax. Always Believing, Ashley
Sadie says:
January 29, 2009 at 4:54 pm -
Love you all <3 I have so much more to say but I’m writing this on my phone so I will write again later. Thinking of you always <3<3 Sadie
angela says:
January 29, 2009 at 11:17 am -
sending my love to all today! love cousin angela
aunt val says:
January 29, 2009 at 10:17 am -
loving you
SandyBanks says:
January 29, 2009 at 6:06 am -
Sharon.torey and T.J. , Ihave been thinking about you guys alot. my life has been crazy as usual. I have been tryins to find all our old swimmers for a Amherst swim team reunion. on facsbook. okay the one who doesnt know anything about these crazy computers has done it. check out my profile it will come up and there it is the team. sharon take the time to heal . but not too long i need you. we all do. keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. oh my puppy is st. bernard /golden shes huge. well everyone have a great day it 5;30 am and i got to start my day.
Angela says:
January 28, 2009 at 3:21 pm -
this past saturday was my first time in the gym school since you passed away jacquie! walking in there was so tough, quite almost. what a beautiful tribute on the wall they have put in there for you! i cant explain to you how much i miss you i hope you feel it! do you hear me talking to you still? not an hour of the day passes when you arent a thought in my mind or im saying something to you in thought! aunt sharon, i love you so very much and i truly would do anything to help ease your pain! i love you all so much and i will never stop loving you jacquie! forever in my heart, cousin angela