Hi, so again I wanted to share with you some words that are not my own. The following is a passage which was shared at a ceremony for a young doctor who worked at the same hospital as my mom, who died from pancreatic cancer recently. It is titled,A Litany of Remembering”in the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember Jacquie.in the blowing of the wind and in the chill of the winter, we will remember herin the opening of hte buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember herin the blueness of hte ski and in the warmth of summer, we will remember herin the rustling of the leaves and in hte beauty of the autumn, we will remember herin the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember herwhen we are weary and in need of strength, when we are lost and sick at heart, we will remember her.when we have joys we yearn to share, we will remember her. so long as we live, she too shall live, for she she is a part of us, as we remember her.”All of my love. Keep hanging in there. Also I just wanted to let you know that my cousin Doug (although he’s my cousin, he is a bit older than me… in his early 40’s) was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. He began his chemo treatments last week. If you find the time to send any thoughts or prayers his way, that would be amazing.In my heart and on my mind always<3 alicia <3
Good Morning, Sharon I love the quote you picked for yesterday. Whenever I’m complaining about something trivial or had a bad day at work my Dad always tells me “Ashley, who controls your happiness?” and I have to respond with “I do.” But let me tell you there are days when I hate that question and I don’t want to hear it!! So…it’s okay to be upset and have bad days. You are allowed to sit and cry, how could you not it hasn’t been that long. Don’t worry about our expectations for you, you’ve already surpassed everything any of us ever thought you could do. Do what you need to do for you, Torey and TJ and the rest of your family. It’s important to handle this time the way you need too. That’s they only way any of you guys will get through it. I love you tons. xoAlwaysBelievingox Ashley
sharon-mom called me the other day…thank you…i’m just being me… alicia-how is the school stuff going? torey-i hope you are staying on two feet tj-mopar mopar mopar jacquie-tell your family and friends that you are ok, and that you hear them…they need that i cant believe i’m going to say this…GO CARDINALS!!!!????!!!!
Sharon, I especially wanted you to read this poem so you know that it is okay to always miss Jax and always have a hole in your heart. Always sending my love and prayers. God bless, Casey Your gentle face and patient smile With sadness we recall You had a kindly word for each And died beloved by all. The voice is mute and stilled the heart That loved us well and true. Ah, bitter was the trial to part From one as good as you. You are not forgotten loved on Nor will you ever be As long as life and memory last We will remember thee. We miss you now, our hearts are sore, As time goes by we miss you more, Your loving smile, your gentle face, No one can fill your vacant place.
Hi Sharon,I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I just wanted to let you know that I am still here for you and that I BELIEVE in you. You could never disappoint Jacquie so please don’t think like that. The strength you have shown in the past year and and four months is just amazing. I think about you and your family every day. I hope that tomorrow is better than today and that the day after is even better.Still believing,Liz (Brace)
Good Morning! I am so happy that my cousin asked me to go to her gymnastic meet this weekend, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have had a reason to go to the Gym. But I am so glad I did. It looks amazing, so much of Jacquie everywhere!! The pictures around the lights are beautiful! The Life Poem and letter Jacquie wrote on the wall are inspiring, I’m glad my cousin goes to a place that is surrounded by Jax and all her wonderfulness!! And of course the TINK PRO SHOP…AMAZING!! Sharon and family you have done an great job! I can’t wait to buy some Tink Merchandise to add to the store!! Sharon Torey and TJ~stay strong I know Jacquie is proud of you. xoxo Ashley
My best big Buddy, It hasn’t been long and it hurts so bad. Grief as others before me have written so well, is very difficult. But take each day at a time, rides the waves, talk to us, friends, a grief counselor, family. Talking is important! Also remember you have TJ, another child who loves you and I imagine, needs you so much. He too, is grieving and having the comfort of his mother is like nothing else. Don’t lose this time with him, enjoy and nurture each other and Torey, who also grieves and needs the love and support of each other. The three of you together are a wonderful force. Jax would be so proud of all of you. Love, your little buddy!
I love you all very much and continue to pray for you all. Like many others I wish there is something to do or say to help. I keep you in my heart everyday. I miss you so much Jacquie. Please continue to watch over us all. I will always believe in you. Love you. love, mandz
I follow your entries and pray for you. There is nothing anyone can do or say to ease your pain. I just wish for you moments of peace. I hope the moments become more frequent and longer. You make me want to be a better mother. Even though I don’t know you, you are very close in my heart. Maybe I will meet you someday. You seem like such a wonderful person. I can feel the song in your heart. Hopefully you will sing it again someday. Jackie Ferguson
Sharon, Torey, TJ: I am so sorry for my lack of presence on the website lately, but as I know you are all finding, it has just been so difficult to write. Since I don’t feel like my words are necessarily the best words I can offer you at this time, I am going to share with you an excerpt from this book my mom has, called “Plum Village Chanting and Recitation Book.” My Mom practices Buddhism and this book is a compilation of various gathas, discourses, etc. The specific excerpt I am going to share, is what my Mom read for my Dad as his funeral, and is entitled:Contemplation on No-Coming and No-Going”This body is not me.I am not limited by this body.I am life without boundaries.I have never been born,and I have never died.Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars, manifestation from my wondrous true mind. Since before time, I have been free.Birth and death are only doors through which we pass,sacred thresholds on our journey.Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.So laugh with me,hold my hand,let us say good-bye, say good-bye, to meet again soo.We meet today.We will meet again tomorrow.We will meet at the source every moment.We meet each other in all forms of life.”I know that some parts are hard to understand being that this comes from the Buddhist tradition, but I think that the main point still comes across well. Please know I hold you all in my heart at all times. I wish I had more that I could say to easy the pain. I love you.xoxo <3 alicia <3 xoxo
When I have been subbing lately, I see a lot of little girls wearing Tink shirts, and I want to so badly to tell them how important Tink is and that she really was the most amazing person. For fear that they would think I’m the “crazy sub” I simply tell them how cool Tink is and how much I like the shirt or lunch box they have. Jax gives me the strength to make it through tough days, and for that I am eternally greatful. on another note…I keep having dreams about the Rascal Flatts show in February. Before September 6th, I used to have so many dreams about Jax and I loved to see her smile even when I couldn’t visit too often. Since then, I have yet to see her in one of my dreams and it makes me extremely sad, so I figure that having dreams about this concert is as close as I will get to having dreams about Jax for now. I’m hoping its a good sign. It seems like we could really use some good signs these days. My love and prayers, always. God bless, Casey
Sharon, I haven’t written in the guestbook in a while. I read your updates constantly, and I think of you and Torey and TJ endlessly. I just don’t always know what I can put in this guestbook to make it better. It just doesn’t change anything. My support for all of you will never change. But I can’t change the out come of Jacquie’s destiny or your feelings about it. Your feelings are completely understandable. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…YOU ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS. No one can ever know how each of you feel. The circumstances you have all endured have totally blown me away. No one could ever imagine or judge your feelings. I am sure this is a circumstance that you will never recover from. However, you will LEARN to deal with it and go on. That is where you are stuck right now. You don’t want to deal with it or go on. As much as you count the days, and it does seem so long that you have been without Jacquie’s presence, it really hasn’t been a long time for anyone to judge. How could one just pick up and continue on with their life as if everything was fine after just 4 1/2 months? NOT POSSIBLE! However, DON”T STOP WRITING ON THIS WEBSITE. it is wonderful therapy for you to get your feelings out. You also get the feedback of support that you need from so many others. You didn’t lose Jacquie overnight. You aren’t going to learn to go on overnight either. Every time you write about the love between a daughter and a mom or your memories of Jacquie, you are filling your soul up with love from Jacquie. You are surrounding yourself with her love as you write. You need to keep searching through all of Jacquie’s things and sharing the phrases that you find in her books. These are the things that surround you with her love. No one can take her love away from you. That you will have forever. In time you will feel strength from her love. I am sure that you are sick of hearing that from people. But it is true. Jacquie is nothing if she isn’t a pillar of strength. She will strenthen you. She already has. You don’t see it because you are so clouded with your emotions. But you get up everyday, and there are things that you do to get yourself through the day. You may force yourself to do it, but the important thing is that you do it. For that, I give you tremendous credit. One day at a time, Sharon. And one day, you will wake up with a smile for your daughter instead of a tear. I promise. Keep your faith in Jacquie. She never has let you down, and she won’t now. She will get you through. She will make you strong, and she will make you smile. My love, and God’s blessings, Jennifer
Sharon: After reading your latest entry I realized how blessed we are to have our children. It breaks my heart to see your family in so much pain, I don’t know what I would do if something should happen to one of our boys, it is every parents fear. Although I never had a daughter, I treasure all the special times I was able to spend with Jacquie, she truly was a wonderful person and I miss her. Your family and Jacquie are always in my thoughts.
Sharon, I have not written before now, but I wanted you to know I continue to check for your updates. And with every update you post, my heart continues to break for you and your family. Although Jacquie and I lost contact with each other years ago, I followed her progress and prayed for her recovery, for her and your family. I know it is not the same, but I lost my mother when I was 16 years old; we are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I understand how it feels to want a person back more than anything, and how unfair and hopeless it can feel that you can’t have it. I have regretted not writing sooner for Jacquie to read, so that she would know someone she was once friends with still cared about her. But now I hope you find at least some comfort in knowing that she had the ability to touch people in a way most people can’t, and for that she won’t ever be forgotten. Mark Twain once wrote, “There are no mistakes in life, there are only lessons to be learned”. I imagine this has to be one of the hardest lessons to learn, but I believe you will find a way to go on, and when it’s over you’ll be with Jacquie again. Not to (really) start talking in cliches, but I hope you know that how you feel can never be wrong, and continue to post updates whenever you can.- J.
It makes so much sense that it is hard for you, Sharon, to write on here often. I understand because there have been so many times I’ll begin to type on the guestbook and then erase everything because nothing comes out right and I can’t express how I feel on a guestbook. We all know that Jacquie can never be replaced so how can we expect to justify anything in writing…everything though will be alright, you Tory and TJ have enough love in the 3 of you to carry on for each other and for Jax. Love each of you and everyone I share the bond with who loves and misses Jacquie. Believing ALWAYS-
To the Hirsch’s,I can’t describe how much your strength keeps all of us going and in turn, I hope that keeps you guys going. Please continue your beautiful efforts at fighting for others, it is truly the best tribute!Much Love.
My dearest Sharon… thank you for continuing to share your heart so openly and honestly…believe it or not it’s important for you to continue talking and getting out your feelings of sadness, anger, feeling cheated, exhausted and empty….Grief is Hell…and it’s normal what your experiencing…Everyone handles grief differently and there is no right way or wrong way…You may feel as though you will NEVER enjoy life the same EVER again…Grieving takes time….and healing happens gradually…at times of grief even the most spiritual find themselves questioning their beliefs and finding disappointment with God…some also are drawn closer to Him….Some people deal with grief by reaching out to others for support…others get busy…but some are depressed and withdrawn…I have found that sometimes if we ask ourselves “what would we expect from our children or spouse if we died” how would we want them to “handle” it… we’d have our answers as to how WE should deal with it…I would of course expect them to grieve…but never would i want them to stop LIVING…or enjoying LIFE…I would even want them to LOVE again..and NEVER would I want my husband or children to harm their daily lives because i’m gone…..I’d like them to remember all the GOOD memories and Cherish them forever…Living for today…Living Life in the world as we know it …celebrating the fact that I’m a better person for having shared whatever time I was allowed …to have that was a gift….that God gave especially to me… See…All of us will experience death…some are called early and some later in life…when we will be called is a mystery… one thing is for sure Sharon… YOU are NOT alone..You have a husband …a son…family and friends who care deeply about you and what you are going through…God also is closer to you than a brother…journeying beside you …even if you don’t believe it right now… he’s with you…He’s knocking at your door…just waiting for you to open it…and get on your knees in prayer…asking for his help to give you the PEACE you so desperately need to fill your broken heart… Sharon…your pain seems to be getting worse rather than better over these last few months…I ask you to try and NOT escape from reality…Reach out for help… …talk to others…. do NOT isolate yourself…find a professional therapist…Talk and tell your story…possibly a support group with others who have lost daugthers in their 20’s…Exercise daily…and EAT right….These are very important things to do for yourself and they will help…Counceling with a professional therapist can allow you to talk about your loss and the strong intense grief your experiencing… It will be helpful and please understand and know that by going forward…and healing from grief…doesn’t mean forgetting about your dear…precious daugther…It’s just getting back to being able to enjoy your life…yes, it will be different…but you can enjoy life once again…it doen’t mean you will no longer miss her…you always will…and how long it takes you to feel better isn’t a measure of how much you loved her… you will always love her with all your heart….Don’t lose faith Sharon… I’m continuing to pray for you…With time, the loving support of family and friends, and your own positive actions…will help you find ways to cope with this deep loss that your experiencing….May God Bless you and Wrap you in His neverending Love….All my prayers tonight are for you…. Karen
Sharon, Torey and TJ, I am thinking of you everyday… hoping and praying that the beautiful memories you hold in your heart give you strength to get through the days. Always believing, Brittany <3
Sharon, Torey and TJ. I still cant believe that Jax is gone. I dont know why, but it is so hard to get it through my brain that she is in a better place now, and i cant imagine how you guys feel. and because i have never lost anyone that close, i dont understand exactly how it feels, but i know you guys are going through a horrible time right now. Trust me, it will get easier, just give it some time. Jax would want the best for you and would want you to be happy. She will always be with you; maybe not phisicaly, but emotionaly she will always be there. I pray for you guys every night, and think about Jax constantly throughout my days. She was a wonderful girl, and you should be proud that you raised such a amazing person. -paige pedini(:
Sharon, Torey and TJ- I don’t know how you feel and I am not even going to say that I can imagine it because I can’t. I do realize that there are no words that will help. I just want you all to know that I think about you guys every day and wish there was a way I could help and quickly realize that I can’t. Even though these words will not make things better I continue to pray for some peace in your lives and that Jacquie continues to live through all of you. I worry about you guys and want you to know that I do think about you daily. There are positive things that are coming from your foundation and I hope some day you are able to see that. Love you all, Becky Selvek School #42
Sharon I haven’t written in quite a while..but that does not mean that I have forgotton you…forgotton how much Jacquie means to you…I am praying for you each and every single night…and in my prayers, I pray that you can feel Jacquie holding you. There are no words to make the pain go away, no words to help the hurt stop, I wish that there were. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that so many people care about you, and are praying for you. You are a very special person. Much Love… Sharon
HI! For Christmas my Sister bought me a Calendar that has a different quote everyday. I really liked today’s so I thought I would share… “The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as our life remains.”Josephine Baker Sharon, Torey and TJ I know the days are really hard on you…I don’t have to words to take it away, but remember that Jacquie will always be in yours and our hearts. love you. xoxo Ashley
sending love your way. i know things are getting harder, and i so badly wish i could make that stop. just know that i love you and hold you in my heart at all times.<3 alicia <3
Aunt Sharon, I dont know how to tell you how much it breaks my heart knowing how hard it is everyday for you to get up and live your day everyday! i know for me i still cry everyday, i constantly think of jacquie, see her, or something that reminds me of her! i talk to her always! i hope you know that she will never be forgotton or out of my heart or mind! she is forever with me and i know she is with you! i hope someday it will get easier for you to get up in the morning! i love you so much! i will be here for you all anytime! i love you always jacquie! love, cousin angela
hey there… is jacquie helping the az cardinals out here go to the superbowl because i’m here?…hmm sharon, i dont have anything that will help you, i know that…but i guess i can tell you to get up each morning and fight like jacquie did…she stared it in the face and fought and fought…so give it hell like she did…not easy but she was our teacher and we all need to fight each day…remember we are all around you when neeeded…should i put more eee’s in neeeeded? it will never be the same and it may never get better…thats ok as long as we give our best each day, and can look ourselves in the mirror and say, yea i gave it hell today… not much but i need to give you guys something from out here in the stoughton west… tj…barrett jackson…next year i expect you guys out here with lots of money to drive a beautiful chevy back home…towing your mustang…lol peace to the hirsches and the whole clan…mps
torey, sharon and TJ, Sending you all our love. We all think of you and are wishing for you peace. Somedays you might feel peace, others not….we are a loving being with hearts that feel. That’s what makes it all so very hard. LIfe isn’t fair and we don’t understand why certain people live and others don’t. There just doesn’t seem to be a rational pattern at all. I guess this is the mystery. On a lighter note. It snowed only 2 inches today and the newsmen were being crazy and the snow plows were out and people were getting stuck everywhere, we had a moment of laughter thinking about what Uncle Torey and TJ would have said about all this havick! It’s good to be able to remember some of the good times as much as we can to help us through those very sad times. WE love you guys, and feel your saddness and grief, and pray for healing .
Sharon, by reading the update, I know that there is really nothing I can do to make you feel forever better. The one and only thing is to be with Jacquie, and if I could bring her back down here, I would in a hearbeat. Nobody besides TJ and Torey, and the others who have lost a child understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you so much. I think about you all of the time, and I worry about you all of the time. I just want you to know, that life comes around only once. One time only, and you dont have second chances for this. Cherish life Sharon, and you know that Jacquie looks down apon you, and she wants you to be happy, and I know that when she sees you happy, she is happy, and thats the most important of all. The one argument I have though, is that why couldnt God perform a miracle on Jacquie? I tell myself that everything happens for a reason, but right now, you still cry and you are still sad, and thats not a good reason. I just wish that the miracles I have heard of, and all of the power God has, could have been put on Jax. But thats not the case, and I believe so so much that God has his plans up there, and he knows the outsome of everything, and he knows you are strong and he knows that you can get through this no matter what! I also want you and your family to know, that my family and I, are always here, and if you ever need anyone of us, you feel free. Your family, and especially Jacquie has changed my family’s life. I tell people all about her, and they are so inspired and smile when I tell them about her. She is like a legend in my heart, and its weird, because when I need her the most, it always seems like its going to be better or okay. I know that whenever I talk to her (which is everyday) she is listening to me and she smiles and laughs at the things I say, but I know she cries too. Just keep BELIEVEING in yourself Sharon, and know that you have loved ones all over, even people you dont know, so stay strong, please 🙂 With so much love, Natalie Maranto
Sharon and Jacquie too, It does seem to only get more difficult to face and I know those words don’t help at all, but it is true and I do imagine I would feel and do feel much of what you express. I think the foundation is doing great things but it should not be at the expense of Jacquie, it just should not be!!!! And I often call mom in tears with so many “why’s” and find myself saying it just does not make sense and never will. And in my heart of hearts I know that all you Torey and TJ and your family want and need is for Jacquie to be with you and for that there will always be such a hurting hole in so many of our hearts. I am caring about you all. LOve, Sara
I wish there was a way to stop the hurting. I wish there was something that could be done to make the days pass easier. Everywhere I go something reminds me of Jacquie. I was in Michael’s the other day and found a purple notebook with Believe on the front, so I bought it. I’m not even sure if I’m going to write in it, but I felt like I had to have it. My purple bracelet brings me strength and inspiration every day.
Sharon, Torey & T.J.; I start to write several times but never finish because I don’t believe I can make it hurt less. Always thinking of you and of course our angel Jacquie.
Sharon, Torey, TJ and Jacquie,The marathon this weekend was bitter sweet. Jacquie I had to hold back tears many many times and when I ran through the castle at the magic kingdom around mile 10 I broke. You were what got me to the finish line. I cried there too, but you brought many more smiles than tears that day. I wore a picture of Jax in her tink costume from Geneseo on my back and so many people kept telling me how beautiful she is. I kept telling them they had no idea! It reminded me when we were bartending at the IB and Jacquie’s many fans would tell me the same thing 🙂 I would brag and say that she was my girlfriend! Pictures of tinkerbell were everywhere! All of the characters were along the way and I kept looking for her, but she was no where to be found! I think that is because she was with Jacquie watching down on me 🙂 Jacquie I miss you and you were my inspiration to cross the finish line. I believe that you will continue to my inspiration wherever my life may take me because I will never stop believing in you… You inspire us all.Hirschs not a day goes by that I do not think of you and your truly AMAZING daughter. I will be sending you pictures from the race soon.All my love,Marietta
i just wanted to say that you all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. i love you. jax, i still can’t believe it. keep looking down on us, i can feel you with me all the time.. i love you honey!
Torey, Sharon, and TJ I am going to the Rascal Flatts concert in Rochester…I was not planning on it, but something in my heart said that I had to be there. You better believe that I will be wearing my Jax shirt…please please please let dad and I know when you hear from Rascal Flatts and thier manager! I hope it all works out, and hopefully we will run into each other there. My love and prayers always, God bless, Casey
Jacquie, i know that you are an angel in heaven as i continue to be amazed at all the people you have inspired. I pray always for all the people suffering and missing you, especially your family. Sharon, i love you, i am here holding your hand and i am so lucky to have your friendship!
Hirschs, I showed everyone who sits near me at work the check presentation online, I am so proud of you and am even prouder to be able to say “Yes, a foundation set up in honor of my best friend donated all that money.” I really think it inspires people to see how wonderful Jacquie is. She continues to touch so many people. I love you guys!! xoxo Ashley
I’m very proud of you Sharon and TJ. Like you, I bend alot, almost break, then make every effort to Stand each and every day. I wrote to Rascal Flatts today Jax and told them all about my beautiful girl. I really, really miss you my little Jacquie Hirsch!!!
Torey, Sharon, and TJ, I watched the clip about the check presentation at Roswell, and of course I ended up crying from the 22 second clip! You never cease to amaze me, your courage and strength and dedication to this cause and to your friends. I continually am greatful for your love and strength, and kind words God bless you all, Casey Jax, I miss you a ton. I know you heard my prayers these past few weeks, and it is nice to know that Grandma is in good hands. You should be so proud of your family Jax, they are so amazing! Just keep sending your Tink dust down so we can keep up our strength down here without you. Loving and missing you each and every day.
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alicia says:
January 28, 2009 at 1:03 pm -
Hi, so again I wanted to share with you some words that are not my own. The following is a passage which was shared at a ceremony for a young doctor who worked at the same hospital as my mom, who died from pancreatic cancer recently. It is titled,A Litany of Remembering”in the rising of the sun and in its going down, we will remember Jacquie.in the blowing of the wind and in the chill of the winter, we will remember herin the opening of hte buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember herin the blueness of hte ski and in the warmth of summer, we will remember herin the rustling of the leaves and in hte beauty of the autumn, we will remember herin the beginning of the year and when it ends, we will remember herwhen we are weary and in need of strength, when we are lost and sick at heart, we will remember her.when we have joys we yearn to share, we will remember her. so long as we live, she too shall live, for she she is a part of us, as we remember her.”All of my love. Keep hanging in there. Also I just wanted to let you know that my cousin Doug (although he’s my cousin, he is a bit older than me… in his early 40’s) was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. He began his chemo treatments last week. If you find the time to send any thoughts or prayers his way, that would be amazing.In my heart and on my mind always<3 alicia <3
Huer says:
January 28, 2009 at 11:15 am -
Good Morning, Sharon I love the quote you picked for yesterday. Whenever I’m complaining about something trivial or had a bad day at work my Dad always tells me “Ashley, who controls your happiness?” and I have to respond with “I do.” But let me tell you there are days when I hate that question and I don’t want to hear it!! So…it’s okay to be upset and have bad days. You are allowed to sit and cry, how could you not it hasn’t been that long. Don’t worry about our expectations for you, you’ve already surpassed everything any of us ever thought you could do. Do what you need to do for you, Torey and TJ and the rest of your family. It’s important to handle this time the way you need too. That’s they only way any of you guys will get through it. I love you tons. xoAlwaysBelievingox Ashley
Michael Stoughton says:
January 28, 2009 at 8:23 am -
sharon-mom called me the other day…thank you…i’m just being me… alicia-how is the school stuff going? torey-i hope you are staying on two feet tj-mopar mopar mopar jacquie-tell your family and friends that you are ok, and that you hear them…they need that i cant believe i’m going to say this…GO CARDINALS!!!!????!!!!
Casey Stiokas says:
January 27, 2009 at 9:51 pm -
Sharon, I especially wanted you to read this poem so you know that it is okay to always miss Jax and always have a hole in your heart. Always sending my love and prayers. God bless, Casey Your gentle face and patient smile With sadness we recall You had a kindly word for each And died beloved by all. The voice is mute and stilled the heart That loved us well and true. Ah, bitter was the trial to part From one as good as you. You are not forgotten loved on Nor will you ever be As long as life and memory last We will remember thee. We miss you now, our hearts are sore, As time goes by we miss you more, Your loving smile, your gentle face, No one can fill your vacant place.
Liz Fassl says:
January 26, 2009 at 8:20 pm -
Hi Sharon,I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I just wanted to let you know that I am still here for you and that I BELIEVE in you. You could never disappoint Jacquie so please don’t think like that. The strength you have shown in the past year and and four months is just amazing. I think about you and your family every day. I hope that tomorrow is better than today and that the day after is even better.Still believing,Liz (Brace)
Casey Stiokas says:
January 26, 2009 at 3:12 pm -
just a quick note…476 North in PA was eeked today. And I really yelled eek considering there were large trucks all around me:) much love.
aunt val says:
January 26, 2009 at 9:52 am -
holding you all, every day
Huer says:
January 26, 2009 at 8:45 am -
Good Morning! I am so happy that my cousin asked me to go to her gymnastic meet this weekend, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have had a reason to go to the Gym. But I am so glad I did. It looks amazing, so much of Jacquie everywhere!! The pictures around the lights are beautiful! The Life Poem and letter Jacquie wrote on the wall are inspiring, I’m glad my cousin goes to a place that is surrounded by Jax and all her wonderfulness!! And of course the TINK PRO SHOP…AMAZING!! Sharon and family you have done an great job! I can’t wait to buy some Tink Merchandise to add to the store!! Sharon Torey and TJ~stay strong I know Jacquie is proud of you. xoxo Ashley
Morgan Kissel says:
January 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm -
I can not think or imagine a better meet to do as well as we A.L.L. did than Jacquie’s Challenge<3
Indie says:
January 25, 2009 at 12:17 pm -
My best big Buddy, It hasn’t been long and it hurts so bad. Grief as others before me have written so well, is very difficult. But take each day at a time, rides the waves, talk to us, friends, a grief counselor, family. Talking is important! Also remember you have TJ, another child who loves you and I imagine, needs you so much. He too, is grieving and having the comfort of his mother is like nothing else. Don’t lose this time with him, enjoy and nurture each other and Torey, who also grieves and needs the love and support of each other. The three of you together are a wonderful force. Jax would be so proud of all of you. Love, your little buddy!
jean elamere says:
January 25, 2009 at 10:50 am -
Amanda Cavarella says:
January 24, 2009 at 1:41 pm -
I love you all very much and continue to pray for you all. Like many others I wish there is something to do or say to help. I keep you in my heart everyday. I miss you so much Jacquie. Please continue to watch over us all. I will always believe in you. Love you. love, mandz
Jackie F says:
January 24, 2009 at 12:45 pm -
I follow your entries and pray for you. There is nothing anyone can do or say to ease your pain. I just wish for you moments of peace. I hope the moments become more frequent and longer. You make me want to be a better mother. Even though I don’t know you, you are very close in my heart. Maybe I will meet you someday. You seem like such a wonderful person. I can feel the song in your heart. Hopefully you will sing it again someday. Jackie Ferguson
alicia says:
January 24, 2009 at 11:50 am -
Sharon, Torey, TJ: I am so sorry for my lack of presence on the website lately, but as I know you are all finding, it has just been so difficult to write. Since I don’t feel like my words are necessarily the best words I can offer you at this time, I am going to share with you an excerpt from this book my mom has, called “Plum Village Chanting and Recitation Book.” My Mom practices Buddhism and this book is a compilation of various gathas, discourses, etc. The specific excerpt I am going to share, is what my Mom read for my Dad as his funeral, and is entitled:Contemplation on No-Coming and No-Going”This body is not me.I am not limited by this body.I am life without boundaries.I have never been born,and I have never died.Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars, manifestation from my wondrous true mind. Since before time, I have been free.Birth and death are only doors through which we pass,sacred thresholds on our journey.Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.So laugh with me,hold my hand,let us say good-bye, say good-bye, to meet again soo.We meet today.We will meet again tomorrow.We will meet at the source every moment.We meet each other in all forms of life.”I know that some parts are hard to understand being that this comes from the Buddhist tradition, but I think that the main point still comes across well. Please know I hold you all in my heart at all times. I wish I had more that I could say to easy the pain. I love you.xoxo <3 alicia <3 xoxo
aunt val says:
January 24, 2009 at 11:03 am -
always…….
Casey Stiokas says:
January 23, 2009 at 11:39 am -
When I have been subbing lately, I see a lot of little girls wearing Tink shirts, and I want to so badly to tell them how important Tink is and that she really was the most amazing person. For fear that they would think I’m the “crazy sub” I simply tell them how cool Tink is and how much I like the shirt or lunch box they have. Jax gives me the strength to make it through tough days, and for that I am eternally greatful. on another note…I keep having dreams about the Rascal Flatts show in February. Before September 6th, I used to have so many dreams about Jax and I loved to see her smile even when I couldn’t visit too often. Since then, I have yet to see her in one of my dreams and it makes me extremely sad, so I figure that having dreams about this concert is as close as I will get to having dreams about Jax for now. I’m hoping its a good sign. It seems like we could really use some good signs these days. My love and prayers, always. God bless, Casey
Jennifer Warnes says:
January 23, 2009 at 11:03 am -
Sharon, I haven’t written in the guestbook in a while. I read your updates constantly, and I think of you and Torey and TJ endlessly. I just don’t always know what I can put in this guestbook to make it better. It just doesn’t change anything. My support for all of you will never change. But I can’t change the out come of Jacquie’s destiny or your feelings about it. Your feelings are completely understandable. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…YOU ARE ENTITLED TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS. No one can ever know how each of you feel. The circumstances you have all endured have totally blown me away. No one could ever imagine or judge your feelings. I am sure this is a circumstance that you will never recover from. However, you will LEARN to deal with it and go on. That is where you are stuck right now. You don’t want to deal with it or go on. As much as you count the days, and it does seem so long that you have been without Jacquie’s presence, it really hasn’t been a long time for anyone to judge. How could one just pick up and continue on with their life as if everything was fine after just 4 1/2 months? NOT POSSIBLE! However, DON”T STOP WRITING ON THIS WEBSITE. it is wonderful therapy for you to get your feelings out. You also get the feedback of support that you need from so many others. You didn’t lose Jacquie overnight. You aren’t going to learn to go on overnight either. Every time you write about the love between a daughter and a mom or your memories of Jacquie, you are filling your soul up with love from Jacquie. You are surrounding yourself with her love as you write. You need to keep searching through all of Jacquie’s things and sharing the phrases that you find in her books. These are the things that surround you with her love. No one can take her love away from you. That you will have forever. In time you will feel strength from her love. I am sure that you are sick of hearing that from people. But it is true. Jacquie is nothing if she isn’t a pillar of strength. She will strenthen you. She already has. You don’t see it because you are so clouded with your emotions. But you get up everyday, and there are things that you do to get yourself through the day. You may force yourself to do it, but the important thing is that you do it. For that, I give you tremendous credit. One day at a time, Sharon. And one day, you will wake up with a smile for your daughter instead of a tear. I promise. Keep your faith in Jacquie. She never has let you down, and she won’t now. She will get you through. She will make you strong, and she will make you smile. My love, and God’s blessings, Jennifer
Michael Stoughton says:
January 23, 2009 at 8:36 am -
letting you know im here…
Sue P says:
January 23, 2009 at 7:56 am -
Sharon: After reading your latest entry I realized how blessed we are to have our children. It breaks my heart to see your family in so much pain, I don’t know what I would do if something should happen to one of our boys, it is every parents fear. Although I never had a daughter, I treasure all the special times I was able to spend with Jacquie, she truly was a wonderful person and I miss her. Your family and Jacquie are always in my thoughts.
... says:
January 23, 2009 at 7:04 am -
Sharon, I have not written before now, but I wanted you to know I continue to check for your updates. And with every update you post, my heart continues to break for you and your family. Although Jacquie and I lost contact with each other years ago, I followed her progress and prayed for her recovery, for her and your family. I know it is not the same, but I lost my mother when I was 16 years old; we are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I understand how it feels to want a person back more than anything, and how unfair and hopeless it can feel that you can’t have it. I have regretted not writing sooner for Jacquie to read, so that she would know someone she was once friends with still cared about her. But now I hope you find at least some comfort in knowing that she had the ability to touch people in a way most people can’t, and for that she won’t ever be forgotten. Mark Twain once wrote, “There are no mistakes in life, there are only lessons to be learned”. I imagine this has to be one of the hardest lessons to learn, but I believe you will find a way to go on, and when it’s over you’ll be with Jacquie again. Not to (really) start talking in cliches, but I hope you know that how you feel can never be wrong, and continue to post updates whenever you can.- J.
Caitlin Burgher says:
January 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm -
It makes so much sense that it is hard for you, Sharon, to write on here often. I understand because there have been so many times I’ll begin to type on the guestbook and then erase everything because nothing comes out right and I can’t express how I feel on a guestbook. We all know that Jacquie can never be replaced so how can we expect to justify anything in writing…everything though will be alright, you Tory and TJ have enough love in the 3 of you to carry on for each other and for Jax. Love each of you and everyone I share the bond with who loves and misses Jacquie. Believing ALWAYS-
Miss You Jax says:
January 22, 2009 at 2:34 am -
To the Hirsch’s,I can’t describe how much your strength keeps all of us going and in turn, I hope that keeps you guys going. Please continue your beautiful efforts at fighting for others, it is truly the best tribute!Much Love.
Karen Kacko Calandra says:
January 21, 2009 at 11:18 pm -
My dearest Sharon… thank you for continuing to share your heart so openly and honestly…believe it or not it’s important for you to continue talking and getting out your feelings of sadness, anger, feeling cheated, exhausted and empty….Grief is Hell…and it’s normal what your experiencing…Everyone handles grief differently and there is no right way or wrong way…You may feel as though you will NEVER enjoy life the same EVER again…Grieving takes time….and healing happens gradually…at times of grief even the most spiritual find themselves questioning their beliefs and finding disappointment with God…some also are drawn closer to Him….Some people deal with grief by reaching out to others for support…others get busy…but some are depressed and withdrawn…I have found that sometimes if we ask ourselves “what would we expect from our children or spouse if we died” how would we want them to “handle” it… we’d have our answers as to how WE should deal with it…I would of course expect them to grieve…but never would i want them to stop LIVING…or enjoying LIFE…I would even want them to LOVE again..and NEVER would I want my husband or children to harm their daily lives because i’m gone…..I’d like them to remember all the GOOD memories and Cherish them forever…Living for today…Living Life in the world as we know it …celebrating the fact that I’m a better person for having shared whatever time I was allowed …to have that was a gift….that God gave especially to me… See…All of us will experience death…some are called early and some later in life…when we will be called is a mystery… one thing is for sure Sharon… YOU are NOT alone..You have a husband …a son…family and friends who care deeply about you and what you are going through…God also is closer to you than a brother…journeying beside you …even if you don’t believe it right now… he’s with you…He’s knocking at your door…just waiting for you to open it…and get on your knees in prayer…asking for his help to give you the PEACE you so desperately need to fill your broken heart… Sharon…your pain seems to be getting worse rather than better over these last few months…I ask you to try and NOT escape from reality…Reach out for help… …talk to others…. do NOT isolate yourself…find a professional therapist…Talk and tell your story…possibly a support group with others who have lost daugthers in their 20’s…Exercise daily…and EAT right….These are very important things to do for yourself and they will help…Counceling with a professional therapist can allow you to talk about your loss and the strong intense grief your experiencing… It will be helpful and please understand and know that by going forward…and healing from grief…doesn’t mean forgetting about your dear…precious daugther…It’s just getting back to being able to enjoy your life…yes, it will be different…but you can enjoy life once again…it doen’t mean you will no longer miss her…you always will…and how long it takes you to feel better isn’t a measure of how much you loved her… you will always love her with all your heart….Don’t lose faith Sharon… I’m continuing to pray for you…With time, the loving support of family and friends, and your own positive actions…will help you find ways to cope with this deep loss that your experiencing….May God Bless you and Wrap you in His neverending Love….All my prayers tonight are for you…. Karen
Brittany Wiesner says:
January 21, 2009 at 10:37 pm -
Sharon, Torey and TJ, I am thinking of you everyday… hoping and praying that the beautiful memories you hold in your heart give you strength to get through the days. Always believing, Brittany <3
Paige Pedini says:
January 21, 2009 at 8:14 pm -
Sharon, Torey and TJ. I still cant believe that Jax is gone. I dont know why, but it is so hard to get it through my brain that she is in a better place now, and i cant imagine how you guys feel. and because i have never lost anyone that close, i dont understand exactly how it feels, but i know you guys are going through a horrible time right now. Trust me, it will get easier, just give it some time. Jax would want the best for you and would want you to be happy. She will always be with you; maybe not phisicaly, but emotionaly she will always be there. I pray for you guys every night, and think about Jax constantly throughout my days. She was a wonderful girl, and you should be proud that you raised such a amazing person. -paige pedini(:
Anonymous says:
January 21, 2009 at 6:23 pm -
Sharon, Torey and TJ- I don’t know how you feel and I am not even going to say that I can imagine it because I can’t. I do realize that there are no words that will help. I just want you all to know that I think about you guys every day and wish there was a way I could help and quickly realize that I can’t. Even though these words will not make things better I continue to pray for some peace in your lives and that Jacquie continues to live through all of you. I worry about you guys and want you to know that I do think about you daily. There are positive things that are coming from your foundation and I hope some day you are able to see that. Love you all, Becky Selvek School #42
Sharon Colasanti says:
January 21, 2009 at 2:04 pm -
Sharon I haven’t written in quite a while..but that does not mean that I have forgotton you…forgotton how much Jacquie means to you…I am praying for you each and every single night…and in my prayers, I pray that you can feel Jacquie holding you. There are no words to make the pain go away, no words to help the hurt stop, I wish that there were. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that so many people care about you, and are praying for you. You are a very special person. Much Love… Sharon
SandyBanks says:
January 20, 2009 at 7:06 pm -
sharon,torey and tj iam thinking about you guys all the time. the words are not flowing but my prayers are.
Huer says:
January 20, 2009 at 5:19 pm -
HI! For Christmas my Sister bought me a Calendar that has a different quote everyday. I really liked today’s so I thought I would share… “The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as our life remains.”Josephine Baker Sharon, Torey and TJ I know the days are really hard on you…I don’t have to words to take it away, but remember that Jacquie will always be in yours and our hearts. love you. xoxo Ashley
alicia says:
January 20, 2009 at 3:55 pm -
sending love your way. i know things are getting harder, and i so badly wish i could make that stop. just know that i love you and hold you in my heart at all times.<3 alicia <3
aunt val says:
January 20, 2009 at 2:46 pm -
Angela says:
January 20, 2009 at 11:23 am -
Aunt Sharon, I dont know how to tell you how much it breaks my heart knowing how hard it is everyday for you to get up and live your day everyday! i know for me i still cry everyday, i constantly think of jacquie, see her, or something that reminds me of her! i talk to her always! i hope you know that she will never be forgotton or out of my heart or mind! she is forever with me and i know she is with you! i hope someday it will get easier for you to get up in the morning! i love you so much! i will be here for you all anytime! i love you always jacquie! love, cousin angela
Julie Wallenhorst says:
January 20, 2009 at 12:15 am -
Hirsch’s- My thoughts and prayers are with you now and always…never stop believing.Angel- continue to watch over us and guide us.
Michael Stoughton says:
January 19, 2009 at 6:01 pm -
hey there… is jacquie helping the az cardinals out here go to the superbowl because i’m here?…hmm sharon, i dont have anything that will help you, i know that…but i guess i can tell you to get up each morning and fight like jacquie did…she stared it in the face and fought and fought…so give it hell like she did…not easy but she was our teacher and we all need to fight each day…remember we are all around you when neeeded…should i put more eee’s in neeeeded? it will never be the same and it may never get better…thats ok as long as we give our best each day, and can look ourselves in the mirror and say, yea i gave it hell today… not much but i need to give you guys something from out here in the stoughton west… tj…barrett jackson…next year i expect you guys out here with lots of money to drive a beautiful chevy back home…towing your mustang…lol peace to the hirsches and the whole clan…mps
Anonymous says:
January 19, 2009 at 4:19 pm -
I found a card today I had written in and for some reason, never sent to Jax. Made my heart break again. Miss you so much tink
The Christie’s says:
January 18, 2009 at 9:34 pm -
torey, sharon and TJ, Sending you all our love. We all think of you and are wishing for you peace. Somedays you might feel peace, others not….we are a loving being with hearts that feel. That’s what makes it all so very hard. LIfe isn’t fair and we don’t understand why certain people live and others don’t. There just doesn’t seem to be a rational pattern at all. I guess this is the mystery. On a lighter note. It snowed only 2 inches today and the newsmen were being crazy and the snow plows were out and people were getting stuck everywhere, we had a moment of laughter thinking about what Uncle Torey and TJ would have said about all this havick! It’s good to be able to remember some of the good times as much as we can to help us through those very sad times. WE love you guys, and feel your saddness and grief, and pray for healing .
Natalie M. says:
January 18, 2009 at 1:03 pm -
Sharon, by reading the update, I know that there is really nothing I can do to make you feel forever better. The one and only thing is to be with Jacquie, and if I could bring her back down here, I would in a hearbeat. Nobody besides TJ and Torey, and the others who have lost a child understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you so much. I think about you all of the time, and I worry about you all of the time. I just want you to know, that life comes around only once. One time only, and you dont have second chances for this. Cherish life Sharon, and you know that Jacquie looks down apon you, and she wants you to be happy, and I know that when she sees you happy, she is happy, and thats the most important of all. The one argument I have though, is that why couldnt God perform a miracle on Jacquie? I tell myself that everything happens for a reason, but right now, you still cry and you are still sad, and thats not a good reason. I just wish that the miracles I have heard of, and all of the power God has, could have been put on Jax. But thats not the case, and I believe so so much that God has his plans up there, and he knows the outsome of everything, and he knows you are strong and he knows that you can get through this no matter what! I also want you and your family to know, that my family and I, are always here, and if you ever need anyone of us, you feel free. Your family, and especially Jacquie has changed my family’s life. I tell people all about her, and they are so inspired and smile when I tell them about her. She is like a legend in my heart, and its weird, because when I need her the most, it always seems like its going to be better or okay. I know that whenever I talk to her (which is everyday) she is listening to me and she smiles and laughs at the things I say, but I know she cries too. Just keep BELIEVEING in yourself Sharon, and know that you have loved ones all over, even people you dont know, so stay strong, please 🙂 With so much love, Natalie Maranto
Sara (albuquerque) says:
January 18, 2009 at 12:24 pm -
Sharon and Jacquie too, It does seem to only get more difficult to face and I know those words don’t help at all, but it is true and I do imagine I would feel and do feel much of what you express. I think the foundation is doing great things but it should not be at the expense of Jacquie, it just should not be!!!! And I often call mom in tears with so many “why’s” and find myself saying it just does not make sense and never will. And in my heart of hearts I know that all you Torey and TJ and your family want and need is for Jacquie to be with you and for that there will always be such a hurting hole in so many of our hearts. I am caring about you all. LOve, Sara
Another Believer says:
January 18, 2009 at 11:10 am -
I wish there was a way to stop the hurting. I wish there was something that could be done to make the days pass easier. Everywhere I go something reminds me of Jacquie. I was in Michael’s the other day and found a purple notebook with Believe on the front, so I bought it. I’m not even sure if I’m going to write in it, but I felt like I had to have it. My purple bracelet brings me strength and inspiration every day.
Sue P says:
January 16, 2009 at 8:01 pm -
Sharon, Torey & T.J.; I start to write several times but never finish because I don’t believe I can make it hurt less. Always thinking of you and of course our angel Jacquie.
Marietta says:
January 16, 2009 at 5:55 pm -
Sharon, Torey, TJ and Jacquie,The marathon this weekend was bitter sweet. Jacquie I had to hold back tears many many times and when I ran through the castle at the magic kingdom around mile 10 I broke. You were what got me to the finish line. I cried there too, but you brought many more smiles than tears that day. I wore a picture of Jax in her tink costume from Geneseo on my back and so many people kept telling me how beautiful she is. I kept telling them they had no idea! It reminded me when we were bartending at the IB and Jacquie’s many fans would tell me the same thing 🙂 I would brag and say that she was my girlfriend! Pictures of tinkerbell were everywhere! All of the characters were along the way and I kept looking for her, but she was no where to be found! I think that is because she was with Jacquie watching down on me 🙂 Jacquie I miss you and you were my inspiration to cross the finish line. I believe that you will continue to my inspiration wherever my life may take me because I will never stop believing in you… You inspire us all.Hirschs not a day goes by that I do not think of you and your truly AMAZING daughter. I will be sending you pictures from the race soon.All my love,Marietta
Sadie says:
January 16, 2009 at 2:09 pm -
Always Always thinking of you and believing. Love you guys. <3 Sadie
the keilly’s says:
January 16, 2009 at 11:20 am -
i just wanted to say that you all are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. i love you. jax, i still can’t believe it. keep looking down on us, i can feel you with me all the time.. i love you honey!
Rory says:
January 16, 2009 at 10:16 am -
Thinking about you guys today and every day. Jacquie, I miss you so much. I take your laugh and smile with me everywhere I go. – Rory
aunt val says:
January 16, 2009 at 9:31 am -
i am here, always here. i just can’t write right now. it’s as if my heart has shut my voice down.i love you all………..
Casey Stiokas says:
January 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm -
Torey, Sharon, and TJ I am going to the Rascal Flatts concert in Rochester…I was not planning on it, but something in my heart said that I had to be there. You better believe that I will be wearing my Jax shirt…please please please let dad and I know when you hear from Rascal Flatts and thier manager! I hope it all works out, and hopefully we will run into each other there. My love and prayers always, God bless, Casey
sue says:
January 15, 2009 at 11:18 am -
Jacquie, i know that you are an angel in heaven as i continue to be amazed at all the people you have inspired. I pray always for all the people suffering and missing you, especially your family. Sharon, i love you, i am here holding your hand and i am so lucky to have your friendship!
Huer says:
January 15, 2009 at 9:06 am -
Hirschs, I showed everyone who sits near me at work the check presentation online, I am so proud of you and am even prouder to be able to say “Yes, a foundation set up in honor of my best friend donated all that money.” I really think it inspires people to see how wonderful Jacquie is. She continues to touch so many people. I love you guys!! xoxo Ashley
Dad says:
January 14, 2009 at 10:08 pm -
I’m very proud of you Sharon and TJ. Like you, I bend alot, almost break, then make every effort to Stand each and every day. I wrote to Rascal Flatts today Jax and told them all about my beautiful girl. I really, really miss you my little Jacquie Hirsch!!!
Casey Stiokas says:
January 14, 2009 at 10:02 pm -
Torey, Sharon, and TJ, I watched the clip about the check presentation at Roswell, and of course I ended up crying from the 22 second clip! You never cease to amaze me, your courage and strength and dedication to this cause and to your friends. I continually am greatful for your love and strength, and kind words God bless you all, Casey Jax, I miss you a ton. I know you heard my prayers these past few weeks, and it is nice to know that Grandma is in good hands. You should be so proud of your family Jax, they are so amazing! Just keep sending your Tink dust down so we can keep up our strength down here without you. Loving and missing you each and every day.